I’ve dated once during my depression. I actually feel more deeply for this relationship, but I have trust issues, so saying things like “I love you” isn’t something I’ll say easily. I know he probably thinks that I don’t love him just because I don’t say those three words, but let me tell you a secret. Depressed people in a relationship do love recklessly, but we are just afraid to share our true feelings, for fear of rejection.
These are the things I want people dating a depressed person to know:
- We feel a hell lot better when you are around, especially when you talk to us or hang around us.
- We love you. We just don’t say it. We hope you know, through the silence.
- We do wish to be able to share our feelings but sometimes, it’s just too difficult. Please be patient with us.
- Sometimes when we can’t go out, we really mean it. It isn’t because we’re lazy, it’s because we feel safer at home.
- We need you, even though we push you away, pretending to be okay.
- We really appreciate you for being there.
- We know you get frustrated sometimes because of us. We’re sorry but we don’t mean it.
- It scares us when you get angry. We start to think of things like, “Does he/she hates me?” or “Is it over?”.
Some of you will be like, why would anyone want to date a depressed person? It might be dangerous to love fragile hearts but if you really love someone, you’ll go all out for them, despite their depression. With your care, we will be healed eventually. You just have to be patient.
Sometimes, society shun mentally ill people, labelling them as sick and not normal. It’s just upsetting to know that most people regard it that way. We are just humans with deeper, unsettling thoughts and fears. If you don’t want to date a depressed person, don’t give them wrong signals, but be a friend to them. We appreciate friends too.
Now here’s a little secret. My list of 8 are actually things I wanted him to know. Note “wanted” because I don’t think I want him to know anymore. But this is for those who are dating someone with depression or someone who wants to date someone who has depression.
Stay caring! xx