There’s always this moment where you sit in class and wonder… “What the hell did the lecturer just said?”
I realized I’m more of an independent learner. Throw me some slides or notes, I can figure the rest out myself. I don’t need the classes. I just need the worksheets and answers and lots of time. And if I figure that I still don’t understand the stuffs, I’ll research more and more. (Sometimes, I go overboard.)
But either ways, different people have different learning methods. I envy those who can remember things quickly. I envy those who make everything seem so effortless because I know that if I don’t put in effort, I will fail. Effort is all I have for studies. I know the standardized test isn’t right for me but I adapt to it no matter what. After all, there aren’t much choices, when it comes to getting through your studies. Most of the time, it’s standardized tests.
It is quite unfair to a lot of us but I know the world is pretty much an unfair place. I have been seeing it everywhere since young. It’s weird how the things that you experienced or seen change your entire perspective.
Sometimes, when you are meant to walk, they force you to fly. Sometimes when you are meant to dream, they force reality on to you. And it doesn’t come small. It comes big. Like a heavy weight all over you. You just want to hide and run away to do the things you want but you just can’t because where would you go?
Unsurprisingly, those who are suited to standardized tests will definitely go further in life because they are good at that. What about the ones who need things to be done a different way?
And plus, I realized life has been all about being robots. You go to classes, try to understand the lectures, go home, do work, sleep and start all over again. It’s literally hell. Why are we making more copies of the same type of people? Who the hell made it this way? Who the hell set the standards of an educated person when there is so much more to education?
One day, just one day I hope I can do something about this. There are just so many things I want to change for the sake of humanity and mental health.