Dedicated to this beautiful girl I know, V. Loo.
I don’t know what to say about today.
I found out about a depressing news halfway through class so I went to the toilet after that. It was basically an excuse to try and digest the information.
I remember her as a really friendly, hardworking and cheerful person. I wish I could turn back time to change some things but it doesn’t work that way.
When I look at it once again, I remembered how this could have been me. I remembered how I could have been the one to inject this pain onto everyone else around me because I was once suicidal too.
But at the same time, this person I knew will forever be remembered as a brave beautiful soul.
I remember when we had this talk at school. Everyone was sitting with their group of friends except her. She was alone so I actually went to join her instead of sitting with my usual friends. It was like an instinct to me. She wasn’t in my class but I’m glad to say I’m her friend. And then there was this other time I took home a whole stack of card boards and told her that I’ll help her out with the decorations. I did a lot of it at home that night even though this event had nothing much to do with me. It took some time but I did it anyways because I didn’t want her stressing out.
I remember the birthday party I was invited to which I did go. She was there to. It was strange because this birthday party had people from the other class, none from mine. She complimented on my outfit. She was happy that day. She was smiling.
All I know is that I will miss her so much. I should have known better and trust my instincts even more and kept hanging around her.
This is probably the reason why I talk to people who looked lonely. Either ways, this breaks my heart a million times. I couldn’t do anything at all. Woke up the next day feeling shitty. Spent an hour crying in the bathroom. Spent the next hour on bed, listening to depressing songs.
And yet, I’m still waiting for the day when the world’s mentality change. Awareness is simply not enough.
Stay strong guys,