I wasn’t too keen on going out late alone at 3am but I wanted to because I hated staying in this room thinking and thinking so much. My friend at Canada then motivated me to do what I want to let go of everything.
She texted, “You should go.” “Now’s the best time to do illogical things.” “Go Crazy.” “If you think you should do this then do it. Don’t fight instinct.”
And I did exactly what she said. Googled up at 24 hours place where I could drink and eat a little and chill. I found one immediately and changed and got a Grabcar.
Honestly, taking a Grabcar (it works like Uber) terrifies me a little, especially at 3am because it’s regarded as not safe. My nerves were acting up. I could have called a friend or someone to go with but it would be terrible of me to get them up at 3am. I wouldn’t want to do that anyways. That would be really selfish of me.
The ride to the 24 hour food place was a quiet one. The guy didn’t speak, which i appreciate, a lot. I didn’t want a chatty driver anyways. So then I found myself staring out the window, appreciating the 3am quietness of the outside world. It seemed to calm me down a little.
Usually I hate eating alone but I did it in back in college so many times telling myself that this was one way of getting my anxiety better. So yes I did it. I’m proud to say I did something at 3am without letting anxiety change my mind although I don’t know if I can do this once again. Thinking about how fast my heart was beating really makes me wonder if I can go through that again.
But in all, I was glad to say at least I managed to clear my head for a while.