My friend keeps telling me that I think too much about others and not enough about myself. She pointed some things I do.
- Reply texts quick even though I am busy.
- Help out way too much sometimes.
- Listen too much to other’s problems.
- Answer late night calls; and sometimes texts if I can hear it ring.
- Saying sorry too much when there isn’t much to be sorry about.
- Wake up early just to make meals for friends.
I told her that it has become a habit but so far, I haven’t done number 5 yet in this new place. I don’t exactly go grocery shopping here that often so I can’t exactly do that anymore. Whereas number 4 became a habit after my 2nd ex-boyfriend makes me feel guilty 80% of the time for talking to male friends or doing normal stuff that seems to make him jealous. I really liked him back then that I resort to saying sorry for almost everything. I was so stupid.
But then this “sorry” thing I do seems to be stuck with me.
And then there’s number 1. I hate slow replies so I try my best to reply quickly to everyone. I hate it when people do this thing where they don’t say they are not going to reply anymore so they leave the conversation just there, leaving me to wonder about if they will be replying or not. As much as I want to tell them I don’t like it, I can’t bring myself to it, thinking it will offend them so I tolerate it. But when it comes to people close to me, I’m somehow okay with it.
Number 2 is something I do just because I received a lot of help when I was spiraling down into oblivion. I pretty much want to give back as much as I can.
Number 3. I listen more than I speak about my problems but recently, I have been speaking out a little more than usual. And number 4 is about the same as number 2.
That’s all for this entry.