Hurt For Feels

Have you ever wonder about what’s in someones’ mind and their true motives just because their actions and words don’t match the evidences you have found?

Twice I have seen the same type of evidence and yet I still can’t wrap around the thoughts of maybe this is all a game to the other person. Maybe I’m just the challenge for the moment, the flavour of the month, the highlight of a boring period or maybe I’m just something to talk about to someone else, (so why not give them something to talk about) or a prized pony for them to show off or a hideous object on display for the world to laugh at.

Usually if it’s very important and I have to know the truth, I will ask directly. I will even ask a few times over a period of time to see if the answer is consistent.

So far, I have gotten consistency but it does not match the evidences I’ve seen with my own two eyes. What one person says to you could be entirely different to others and you will definitely know who the person is being honest with and who the same person is lying to.

This person has said the same thing to 2 other persons (and maybe more that I don’t know about).


But then, I have a lot of mixed feelings about this person. One part of me keeps making excuses saying that I’m the one to blame for all this. At the same time, maybe this person is confused too. But if this person is able to tell 2 other people the same thing, what does that really mean?

It’s also very conflicting because it seems as if the person knows how I really feel about him or her which makes me an easier target to play with because I’ll always go back for more no matter how much it hurts.

It’s like this person makes you feel happy so you want it even though the hurt lasts longer than the happiness.

I already know it’s bad but I still go for it. It’s addicting.

Signing off,

cloe_shadowscar xx


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