I used to have this ideal guy in my head with certain personality, qualities and characteristics I want.

Here’s the breakdown of what I wanted :

  • He has to be at least a head taller than me.
  • He has to have great tastes in clothes and style.
  • He has to be a football (soccer) fan (a bonus if he supports the same team as I do).
  • He has to be someone who I can talk to and open up about my insecurities.
  • He has to have a good background (as in good relationship with his family members, have certain hobbies)
  • More preferably have a similar standard as I do and similar views on certain issues.
  • Have a drive and determination for further success.
  • Someone who does not give up easily.
  • Someone who’s emotionally smart and is always available when I need him.
  • Someone who knows their boundaries.
  • Someone who is all rounded (good in sports, music, studies)
  • Someone who’s not an alcoholic, doesn’t smoke and so on.

There are more but here’s just the basic idea. But then I realized, there’s no such thing as the perfect guy. I mean there’s no such thing as a perfect personality, perfect quality or even perfect characteristics. Maybe there is someone who possess everything in my list but that will be one in a million.

And at the end of the day, you’ll definitely fall for someone who doesn’t check off (maybe some) the mental list you made in the beginning  but you’ll still find him perfect and so, you’ll throw that mental list far away.

And then you realize that you’re not that perfect too either ways.

That person may annoy you or irritate you or disappoint you in all the ways that you know will maybe be non-existent if you find the list-perfect guy but you still love him anyways and deal with every complications he has. You forgive him a million times and are still patient about things he could improve in himself because you trust him, you have faith in him and you have all the time in the world for him because in your eyes, you only see him. You see no one else.

But here’s the plot twist that damages.

Does he sees you that way too? Does he forgive your flaws as easily as you forgive his?

*cue heartbreak & glass shattering sound effects*

I believe in strong, beautiful love that lasts a lifetime. I believe in flaws and imperfections. I believe in fate. I believe in forgiving. I believe in patience. I believe in fixing things. I believe in tears and emotions.

Signing off,

cloe_shadowscar xx



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